Bend It Like Heffern

Soccer season has begun! Reiley is playing soccer for the first time on our parish's co-ed 4-year-old soccer team, and Kevin is one of the coaches. I'm liking it because all of the coaches are focused on the kids learning through small-group, fun exercises, with a few team scrimmages at the end of the season.

The temperature was in the 80s during the first practice, and we wondered how typically heat-resistant Reiley was going to feel about the sweating, and the heavy soccer shinguards and socks.

Reiley was also the second-youngest kid on the team, so you never know what the experience will be like with the "bigger" kids. The team sat in a line on their balls, and counted off into four groups. Reiley was in a group with three boys and one other girl (who turned out to be the one kid younger than Reiley). Reiley had a great time - split between playing with the boys and trying to console the other girl who was clearly not comfortable with the whole team sports thing (as evidenced by a nearly continuous stream of tears). At one point, Kevin was trying to encourage the other girl to join in the "Simon Says" game, and Reiley said, "Dad, it's ok if she doesn't want to do it right now. She'll start when she's ready."

By the end of practice, Reiley was ecstatic.

Reiley: "Dad, I had fun with you and Coach Tim and Coach Mike and Coach Eric, too, but I need a shower when we get home because I'm very sweaty."
Kevin: "You're right, soccer makes you sweaty. Some of the other kids told me they were getting sweaty and thirsty, too."
Reiley: "Yeah, but even though I was thirsty, I didn't say that. I just KEPT PLAYING until the coaches said it was time for a break."

Reiley also said her favorite friend from practice was a girl named Lindsey. Kevin didn't remember a Lindsey playing so he asked Reiley which girl she was. "Dad, do you remember that girl with a blue and yellow flowery dress and flowery sandals? That was Lindsey."

Yep, her best friend was the six-year-old big sister who was watching practice from next to the water bottle bench.

Another Brick in the Wall

Since we bought our house four and a half years ago, we've had a running list of home improvement projects. The list keeps getting longer and we haven't quite been able to strike as many items from the list as we would have hoped. We cite having three kids in a little over four years to be our primary reason for this slow home improvement!

Despite our turtle's pace, we've really attacked some big projects this year. It's always been our hope to finish the basement, but we had structural cracks to repair and water issues to address. We had the structural cracks/foundation issues repaired this summer, and were convinced that this was the solution to our basement water woes. Not the case - water still floods into our window well in the basement (thanks to our awesome home location at the bottom of a sloping hill, where our yard becomes home to all our higher-lying neighbors' water). We have big plans to regrade the backyard in the spring.

A smaller DIY project that we knew we could do was build a retaining wall to keep water out of our carport that inevitably seeps into the basement in small, yet annoying quantities. We finished the project in 4 days/evenings and had some very helpful pint-sized laborers! The project was every small child's dream: a huge pile of dirt delivered by a dump truck, a rainstorm that turned some of that pile of dirt into a mud pit, and much shoveling, dumping, and splashing. The girls braved the heat and humidity to build our wall that we all feel pretty proud of as our family creation. Here are some photo highlights!

Ainsley checking the soil saturation levels. (A very technical project than resulted in her little body caked with mud)

Reiley clearing out the mud from the puddle in order to "rebuild the river."

The mini manual laborers enjoying a well-deserved snack.

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The finished product!

The Most Important Job

The Mary Poppins soundtrack is getting constant play in our minivan's CD player. Reiley's seen the movie once, but with her unrivaled steel trap memory, she recalls little subtleties about the movie that I didn't realize she had picked up on. This has led to some in-depth discussions about the inner turmoil of various characters. We've talked at length about why the Daddy (Mr. Banks) is simultaneously distraught and happy about losing his job (for those of you who don't talk about this daily - his realization that work does not completely erase the need to spend time with his family).

She's seemed to have come to terms with Mr. Banks' character development throughout the movie, and now she's turned her interest to Mrs. Banks. Prompted by questions about why the kids have a nanny, I tried to give an age-appropriate summary of the Women's Suffrage Movement, and Mrs. Banks ("The Mommy's") excitement about getting women the vote. Being pro-woman and pro-political involvement myself, I was stressing the importance of the Mommy's involvement by saying, "That's an important job, too". Reiley replied, "But that is not the MOST important job, Mom. I think the most important job is being a mommy, because kids' jobs are are to play and learn. And they need a grown-up, like their Mom or Dad, to help them do that."

Whoa - four-year-olds don't worry about the political or social ramifications of their opinions. While various women could jump all over this statement and land on one ideological side or the other, I silenced that part of my brain and heard what my daughter was implicitly saying:

Thanks for being there for me, Mom. I think you are important.

In that moment, it became very clear to me what I have been grappling with these several years that I started working very part-time from home to stay home with my kids. My kids don't look at me as woman with advanced degree and student loans she's still paying off stalling her career by working part-time and unsure of when she'll ever re-enter the full-time work force. Who do I think the people that have this opinion are? Does it matter what society's expectations for "women like me" are? Over the years, I've turned my back on those messages to find out what I really want for my family and my children, and things have become more and more clear. As many of you know, the world of motherhood isn't always valued by society, and doesn't come with a lot of tangible pay-offs and promotions like the business world. Little fleeting moments like these are illuminating and validating.

Thanks, Reiley, for putting things in perspective so simply. I stay at home with my children for my children. Not to make a political or feminist statement or stand in judgement of others. I'm here to just be there for them, and it was incredible to feel truly appreciated.

Sprinkler Picnic

On Sunday, we decided to bypass the late-afternoon hump with a picnic at the park. How did we enjoy a picnic in 95 degree weather, you may ask? With huge, delicious burritos for pregnant Mommy (my all-time favorite pregnancy craving three pregnancies running), Budweiser for Daddy, and sprinklers for the kids.
What is it about upwardly moving water that is so exciting for kids?? I am amazed at how my girls can be so grumpy and antagonistic in the air-conditioned house, and once you take them outside into the scorching heat and turn on the sprinkler, the rage melts away. Seriously, the look of careless abandon on Reiley's face cracks me up - it's just fast-moving water! Though the fact that she loves it so much is exciting to me, because she refused to touch any water spraying from a sprinkler until last summer.

Ainsley also got mentally lost inside some type of waterworld wonderland while we were there. I imagine her mind playing a trippy Beatles-esque song (Sprinkler Park Forever to the tune of Strawberry Fields Forever) as she pads along the sprinkler park.
I felt happily full of burrito in the summer scorcher, Daddy felt slightly drunk (only kidding :-)), and the kids were enthralled with the water. I think we have a new plan for every Sunday afternoon in August.

Spiritual Musings of a 4-year-old

Reiley has developed a self-directed affinity for Bible Stories. Christenings, Christmases and Easters have brought us an assortment of children's bibles and story books. We were reading the Creation Story during breakfast this morning, and Reiley had some editorial comments. "I know why God made people to live on earth. He was probably getting lonely in Heaven, and thought that if he made people, they would die someday, and then SO many people would be living in Heaven with Him!" Then she listed all of our family members who are "keeping God company" until we die and get to see them too.

We also had some big discussions about David and Goliath. "Did David actually kill Goliath??" Which every Children's bible and story book of course says that "the giant fell over". When Mommy reported that I thought that he was indeed killed, she paused for a long time. I said "What do you think about that?" "I think that seems very mean; why did they want to fight each other?" After some attempts at explaining war over land and geopolitics in the past and present, I was amazed at the clear thinking of a child. She said, "Why didn't they just talk about why they each wanted to live there?" Hmmm, great question.

I grappled with how to explain to her that many parents teach their children to use words rather than force to settle their disagreements. However, many adults and our own government might make a single attempt with words, then use whatever force necessary to take what they want. Ainsley interrupted my train of thought - impatient to read another book. I realized my only answer was, "I don't really know why they didn't make that choice."

Confessions of a Minivan Lover

Before a few weeks ago, I had always been a mocker of minivans. Soccer moms in their sunglasses and coiffed hair, shuttling their children around town - I swore it would never be me. I thought I'd have some sort of "cool car" that didn't proclaim my mom status to the whole world. At 27 and almost the mother of three, I decided I need to stop kidding myself. With three kids four and under, people aren't going to "miss" the fact that I'm a mom. I might as well declare it with my ride.

After Kevin's car almost died, we did a lot of car research. What we soon came to realize is that the hard truth is that if you have more than two kids and would like to take them somewhere without moving a seat a million times to get them in and out AND would like decent trunk space, you get a minivan. After an evening of mourning, we did more research and choosing. The final selection was a 2008 Honda Odyssey (minus the cool stuff like DVD players and Bluetooth, and other assorted features that seemed like a joke to us after driving cars made in 1997 and 1999).

After two weeks of driving it, I unabashedly am proclaiming my love for my minivan. I love the sunglasses holder directly above the rear view mirror. I live for the smooth handling and gentle zoom of the engine. I love the dual air conditioners so that I don't have to hear my children complain about the summer heat. I love the captain chairs that slide back and forth so that my short lady arms can still reach Ainsley when she drops everything out of her chair. I love the huge trunk that I keep my double stroller in and still have room for groceries. I love riding high above other drivers and feel like giving other minivan mom drivers an air high-five for minivans. I find any excuse to drive it somewhere. It is a sad, sad truth - but wonderful at the same time.

Happy Birthday Reiley!

We had a whirlwind birthday weekend for Miss Reiley who turned four! Earlier in the week, I had my mom sobbing moment where I looked through all her old pictures and her baby book and wondered where the years have gone! I blamed it on pregnancy hormones, but I should really just accept the fact that I'm a huge sap, and the crying is unavoidable.

With tears out of the way, we geared up for two parties during the weekend. We had our "family" party on Saturday afternoon, which was a Reiley-chosen firefighting theme. She's been wanting to be a firefighter for about 3 months, and we rented a DVD from the library that told us all the aspects of becoming a firefighter. She memorized the prerequisites, and informed me that "Now that I'm four, that isn't that far away from 18, and that's when I can become a firefighter! I'll have to spend the night in the firehouse for a few nights, but then I'll come home." Here are the girls anxiously awaiting the cake.

We got her a Little Red Riding Hood cape, and it was worn for the rest of the party, and for days after. I've been working on my Wolf voice and Reiley's been pondering the ethics of the fairy tale. "That wasn't very nice for the hunter to kill the wolf; he could have made a different choice, Mom."
Ainsley is sporting the fire chief hat from the costume Reiley received. Reiley's been rescuing women, children and families from apartment building fires, with the help of Ainsley.
Reiley's "friend" party was Sunday morning, and she chose a construction theme. While she's semi-interested in construction vehicles, I think she ultimately made the choice because she saw a picture of an excavator cake in my Family Fun magazine and declared it the choice for her birthday. I completely understand making decisions based on food:-). Here's Reiley with her BFF Savannah blowing out the candles. Reiley and her buddies donned construction hats and dug in the sandbox to find paintbrushes, which they used to paint a cardboard box house. Then they pulled out some treats from the construction cone pinata and had some cake. Hot outside, and messy, but lots of fun!