The Most Important Job

The Mary Poppins soundtrack is getting constant play in our minivan's CD player. Reiley's seen the movie once, but with her unrivaled steel trap memory, she recalls little subtleties about the movie that I didn't realize she had picked up on. This has led to some in-depth discussions about the inner turmoil of various characters. We've talked at length about why the Daddy (Mr. Banks) is simultaneously distraught and happy about losing his job (for those of you who don't talk about this daily - his realization that work does not completely erase the need to spend time with his family).

She's seemed to have come to terms with Mr. Banks' character development throughout the movie, and now she's turned her interest to Mrs. Banks. Prompted by questions about why the kids have a nanny, I tried to give an age-appropriate summary of the Women's Suffrage Movement, and Mrs. Banks ("The Mommy's") excitement about getting women the vote. Being pro-woman and pro-political involvement myself, I was stressing the importance of the Mommy's involvement by saying, "That's an important job, too". Reiley replied, "But that is not the MOST important job, Mom. I think the most important job is being a mommy, because kids' jobs are are to play and learn. And they need a grown-up, like their Mom or Dad, to help them do that."

Whoa - four-year-olds don't worry about the political or social ramifications of their opinions. While various women could jump all over this statement and land on one ideological side or the other, I silenced that part of my brain and heard what my daughter was implicitly saying:

Thanks for being there for me, Mom. I think you are important.

In that moment, it became very clear to me what I have been grappling with these several years that I started working very part-time from home to stay home with my kids. My kids don't look at me as woman with advanced degree and student loans she's still paying off stalling her career by working part-time and unsure of when she'll ever re-enter the full-time work force. Who do I think the people that have this opinion are? Does it matter what society's expectations for "women like me" are? Over the years, I've turned my back on those messages to find out what I really want for my family and my children, and things have become more and more clear. As many of you know, the world of motherhood isn't always valued by society, and doesn't come with a lot of tangible pay-offs and promotions like the business world. Little fleeting moments like these are illuminating and validating.

Thanks, Reiley, for putting things in perspective so simply. I stay at home with my children for my children. Not to make a political or feminist statement or stand in judgement of others. I'm here to just be there for them, and it was incredible to feel truly appreciated.