Blog Daily - 10 minutes

That is going to be my new strategy. I started blogging as a sort of digital scrapbook so that I remember the happenings of our family life (since many days run into one another and sometimes I forgot what month it is). But not blogging for four months doesn't really serve that purpose! So, new rules. 1o minutes, talking about whatever it is that is floating on the the thought cloud at the moment.

Lately, it seems like the kids are simultaneously so needy that I feel like I have a newborn in the house again. Reiley is having some separation anxiety issues, I think from a recent death in our family and the resulting dreams she's been having frequently of me leaving to go to a meeting, and then never returning because I have died. Dropping her off at school has become a trying ordeal, and evening meetings or date nights are rough too. I'm trying to be empathic, while also trying to let her know that the world is a safe place and that he can trust others (her teachers, grandparents, etc.) to help her in my absence. I don't know if I'm striking the right balance, and it's tough. Meanwhile, my once-champion sleeper Sawyer has entered his own phase of separation anxiety. Last week some tree trimmers interrupted his nap with loud sawing and thumping on the house, which has resulted in extreme fear of his crib. I'm sitting in a chair in his room right now so that he can see me, but feel like his crib is still an OK place to be. Similarly, I feel sorry for him and am trying to be present to help him over this fear, but simultaneously kind of resent him for cutting in on my free time (which, come on, it's not like it's "me" time...it's weekly scheduling and meal planning...not a pedicure).

I'm trying to keep in mind that these seemingly looooooonnnnnggggg periods of intensity and neediness are really just a moment in our lives together. I know they'll each find new coping skills and get past their current woes, and I hope that I can tip the scales toward being a "steadfast support" rather than "raging crazy woman".

Happy Holidays from the Hefferns!

The Glimmer

There are those moments that will pass us by unless we are truly present. Little glimmers that get covered by the whirls of busy days. Today, I caught one.

We've been cooped up in the house all week due to Reiley's strep-like infection. The days have involved much of the usual rhythm: eating, laundry, playing, cleaning, eating, napping, playing, eating; but have lacked some of the most vital aspects for me - regular outside time and getting away from my house. I'm more than a little stir-crazy and am missing some of my spunk. Meanwhile, Sawyer is full of I'm-going-to-walk-any-day mania. He's cruises round and round the table until he's exhausted; he flops around on beds, throwing off all of the pillows; diaper changes are medieval torture. Add to the mania a sick, screaming child and her less-than-stellar napping sister, and any spunk or even friendliness I might have is disappearing.

So when Sawyer was eyeing our premier learning-to-walk toy (our beaten-up, well-loved stroller), I wanted to hide it in the closet. I just didn't have the energy to make the dozens of circles my near-walkers demand of me while I ensure that while pushing the stroller, they don't body slam the hard wood when their feet slip out from under them. However, my mama guilt from days of neglecting Sawyer due to Reiley's sickness pulled me from my jobs and over to the stroller. He pulled himself up and started pushing. I was behind him, steadying the stroller, and he started saying "vroom, vroom", then stopping and doing his baby booty dance in celebration. He started pushing again and then looked straight up at my face above him. He smiled this incredible smile, and his eyes twinkled: Can you believe what I'm doing??? I'm doing it!

A moment almost lost. Rather than giving myself the typical guilt trip where I obsess over what other moments I must be missing other days, I stopped the judgment. Inevitably, moments are going to be lost because of various circumstances. I can't try to keep score about which children's moments I keep up with, and which children are going to grow up and hate me. I chose to be grateful for the little glimmer of happiness Sawyer and I shared today, and be thankful for motherhood and the everyday blessings it brings.

Sick Day

Reiley has been down and out for the third day with a "much like strep but not strep" virus. The doctor took one look at her throat yesterday and said Oh my God, if I were a betting woman, I'd say this was strep. But, no, some unidentifiable painful virus is apparently what we have. I think she was pretty close to dehydration yesterday because she has been refusing to eat and drink because of the pain. Luckily, she made a turnaround overnight and is still hesitant to eat, but willing to play with Ainsley, and actually stayed awake all the way until 3:00. Progress! I'm hoping she can be back to school by Friday.

While we've been held captive in the house by sickness, we've been trying to have some fun. Here are Ainsley and Sawyer giving Reiley and I a concert.

Fall Recap

I'm starting to lose hope of ever being caught up on the blog. But I'm at peace with that reality. We've been living in the moment and enjoying each one! Here's what we've been up to!

In September, we made a 6 hour long journey to Ohio for my cousin Holly's wedding. We hadn't seen any of my cousins and aunts for about two years, and it was wonderful to spend time with them again! We were a bit nervous to embark on a 48 hour trip in which 12 of those would be spent in the car. The first night was rocky, and led me to swear we'd never travel again...EVER. But all in all, the kids did really well. One of our sanity savers was this outside picnic at McDonald's. The kids (and Mom and Dad too) got some wiggles out.

The weather for the wedding was absolutely perfect, and we managed to get a family shot where almost everyone was looking and no one looked weird. Quite an accomplishment!

The girls couldn't wait to dance at the reception, and Grandpa and GrandMar did NOT disappoint them. Check out my Dad's twistin'! He should expect a call from "So You Think You Can Dance?"
Wedding season sent us to Kansas City for the wedding of one of my best friends from high school. Due to the tumultous travel with the entire family a few weeks before, we opted to have the girls have a slumber party at our house with GrandMar and Grandpa while we took Sawyer to KC. This was the first time that we have left the girls overnight (except when I was having babies), and it went fantastically! I had a great time laughing, dancing and talking for hours with Betsy (the bride) and Bri, my other high school BFF. It was such a fun getaway!

While we were gone, the girls played "cover sick GrandMar with blankets"

And feasted on a Dairy Queen dinner that included ice cream AND fries. Now THAT'S what grandparents are for. I've been hearing about the ice cream and fries for the last two months!
The next weekend we made a trip to Mill's Apple Farm for our annual apple-picking trip. We've found a new apple home in this farm that is much more mellow and less crowded than the ones we've been to in the past.
This was Sawyer's first apple-picking adventure. He grabbed on and ate almost the entire apple before we realized that he was ingesting it seeds and all.

Reiley's been working up her courage to climb an apple tree at the farm and finally did it this year! She was very proud.

Next up was the Pumpkin Patch. Ainsley is sporting some awesome shades for the trip.

This horse swing was the main attraction for Ainsley.

Ainsley rode the bucking bronco swing while Reiley and Daddy scaled the hay pyramid.

And young John Deere found some acreage to till. I'm unsure if this is even correct farm lingo. but I'm going with it.

It was VERY wet and muddy, and we were the only ones attempting to go to the fields to pick our pumpkins. I, however, was determined. If I wanted to get an already-picked pumpkin, I would just go to the grocery store. That is why we are at the pumpkin patch. So, in true Heffern Family style, we decide to go against the mainstream way of thinking and pull the kids in wagons through the sludge, over a huge mud hill, and get to the patch. It was well worth it. Sawyer had a great time crawling around in the mud.

Reiley wrangled her chosen pumpkin from the vine.

A week later, Reiley's Kindergarten class went to same pumpkin patch. Sawyer played with Daddy while the girls had a girls outing. As you can see, it was unseasonably cold!

The next weekend, Reiley's Daisy trip had the opportunity to learn about caring for and ride miniature horses. This was a confidence-building trip for Reiley because she was very nervous about touching and riding the horses.

She was a bit cautious at first, but after watching almost all of the girls take their turn riding, she walked into the ring with no fear, just excitement. It was inspiring to watch her summon up her courage and truly enjoy a new experience.

Sawyer also spent much of Fall enjoying his mobility and exploring the many sensory experiences our backyard has to offer. Mud, sand, rainwater overflow and a hoe...could he be any happier??

He also had a great time painting pumpkins with girls. Well, painting pumpkins after he painted his face, hand, shirt and paper:-).

Many, many fall adventures!

Nonessential...but fun

I've been gone far too long because blogging falls into the "nonessential" category of my life. And though it is not essential to me or my family's functioning...I think it's fun. That's a good enough reason for me to make a return from my hiatus.

The end of summer sped by and it's hard to believe that we're now in the middle of fall! I'll give a brief (yeah, right) recap of what our family has been so busy doing!

At the beginning of August, we took a week-long trip to Chicago with Kevin's parents and siblings (Mike and Kalinda already live in Chicago, so we go to play with them a lot). Kathy and Lucy flew in from New York and we all stayed in a lovely hotel in Evanston. The location was great because it was just a few blocks from the beach, and the rooms were close enough and large enough that we could party with our wine and board games after the kids were sleeping. This vacation was a big milestone for our family because we haven't taken a long trip with all of the kids since Ainsley was about 6 months old. The sleep difficulties and difficulty transitioning would have just been too much to be able to enjoy a vacation. Now that everyone sleeps well and is a bit older, we though we'd try our luck, and I'm glad to report that everything was great! The kids made the 6 hour drive there and back fairly well, they napped while we were there, and we got to to do a lot of fun things without many crazy meltdowns. All in all, a very successful trip...and it was so nice to spend so much concentrated time with our out-of-town family!

The family enjoying tapas. I love tapas (and sangria...and margaritas...)

Sawyer and Lucy shared some baby blanket play time on the beach

Sawyer enjoyed pouring bucketfuls of water on himselfBeach fun with Grammi and PaddyShedd Aquarium w/ Aunt Kali

A few weeks later, Reiley started Kindergarten at Shining Rivers Waldorf School. She's going three half-days until Christmas, and will step up to five half-days after Christmas. I've been grateful for this option since she didn't do preschool. It's a nice transition to full day next year. She went to summer camp at the school, so she already had some buddies prior to the start of school. This tipped the balance of scared/excited to about 20/80, which made us all less tense about the first day.

Putting things away in her cubby

Playing with friends in "The Meadow" - their AWESOME outside playspace that has these huge tires, two huge sand areas, hay bales for playing/building, huge fallen trees stacked together as a climbing structure, wheelbarrows, shovels, buckets, ropes, bungee swings...a child's dream play area. They play outside at least two hours every morning in every kind of weather. We are well equipped with rain and snow gear for the coming months!

Saying our last goodbies on the first day. What a big girl! In the past six weeks, she's started separating more and more quickly in the morning. What started as a 15-minute drop-off has turned into a cubby drop-off and run to find friends with me calling, "Are you going to give me a kiss goodbye?!" She also has rave reviews about school. Last week she told me, "Mom...I love school more than ANYTHING!"

That got us to the start of Fall...I'll post again later with pictures of all the Fall Fun we've been having!

Reiley turns 5!

Here are some highlights from Reiley's big day! We started partying the weekend before her birthday with a party-filled Saturday: family in the morning and friends in the afternoon. She has been reading a lot about space lately, and chose that for her birthday theme. We had a space cake for the family party and rocket cupcakes for her friend party.

Here are she and Ainsley and their good buddy Carter standing by the string of spaceships we painted and then flew to collect space rocks.

Her actual birthday was on Monday, so we spent the morning playing at the Museum of Transportation, then met Kevin for lunch at Reiley's choice: Bob Evans (our family loves breakfast for any meal!) Reiley was particularly excited by the surprise sundae she received for her birthday. What better way to say happy birthday than with a free dessert??
In the whirl of birthday preparations, I didn't really have a chance to truly grasp that my girl is 5. FIVE! She's taller and leaner and more "kid-looking". She calls me Mom instead of Mommy (though she's now throwing in a Mama, which helps me think that maybe time isn't moving as quickly as it is). She tells me "you can leave now" instead of clinging in fear at separation. She chooses her own books at the library, reads them, and then tells me everything she's learned. It's bittersweet to watch her grow and learn and change and need me less. I feel so proud of the great strides she has made in independence and confidence, but I like to remember the way I would carry her on my hip and talk to her about the world. She walks on her own now, but at least she will let me walk side by side walk with her, and hold her hand.