Blog Daily - 10 minutes

That is going to be my new strategy. I started blogging as a sort of digital scrapbook so that I remember the happenings of our family life (since many days run into one another and sometimes I forgot what month it is). But not blogging for four months doesn't really serve that purpose! So, new rules. 1o minutes, talking about whatever it is that is floating on the the thought cloud at the moment.

Lately, it seems like the kids are simultaneously so needy that I feel like I have a newborn in the house again. Reiley is having some separation anxiety issues, I think from a recent death in our family and the resulting dreams she's been having frequently of me leaving to go to a meeting, and then never returning because I have died. Dropping her off at school has become a trying ordeal, and evening meetings or date nights are rough too. I'm trying to be empathic, while also trying to let her know that the world is a safe place and that he can trust others (her teachers, grandparents, etc.) to help her in my absence. I don't know if I'm striking the right balance, and it's tough. Meanwhile, my once-champion sleeper Sawyer has entered his own phase of separation anxiety. Last week some tree trimmers interrupted his nap with loud sawing and thumping on the house, which has resulted in extreme fear of his crib. I'm sitting in a chair in his room right now so that he can see me, but feel like his crib is still an OK place to be. Similarly, I feel sorry for him and am trying to be present to help him over this fear, but simultaneously kind of resent him for cutting in on my free time (which, come on, it's not like it's "me" time...it's weekly scheduling and meal planning...not a pedicure).

I'm trying to keep in mind that these seemingly looooooonnnnnggggg periods of intensity and neediness are really just a moment in our lives together. I know they'll each find new coping skills and get past their current woes, and I hope that I can tip the scales toward being a "steadfast support" rather than "raging crazy woman".